A FASHION SHOW FOR GODLY WOMEN
Titus 2:3-5
We could have called this morning’s message: “A Fashion Show for Godly Women”
or, “Where have all the mentors gone?”
Women are most effective at attracting people to Christ by a godly lifestyle.
That’s why Peter and Paul both call women to “dress up” in a godly lifestyle; NOT fancy clothes!
In Titus 2, Paul describes what that lifestyle ought to look like.
He’s been urging Titus to teach ALL God’s people to live in a way that agrees with our sound doctrine--that adorns it appropriately.
Specific evidence of that lifestyle is applied to sub-groups within the church.
General principle:
Everyone should live in a way that’s consistent with what we believe.
1. Summary exhortation 2:1
“But YOU teach what agrees with sound doctrine”
2. Application to mature men 2:2
3. Application to (mature and young) women 2:3-5
Not just men adorn sound doctrine with appropriate conduct.
Women, too, affirm the good news about Jesus by their transformed lifestyle.
If the life of older women doesn’t support their doctrine, the Word of God could be blasphemed on account of them.
Theme we hear much about in recent dialogue [<= P.K. ]: MEN mentoring men.
Similarly, one of most significant ministries godly women have: investing their life mentoring women.
Mature, godly women model godly living
to mentor godly younger women.
Mentoring should be a major focus for mature godly women to invest their time in.
WHAT DO GODLY, MATURE, FEMALE MENTORS LOOK LIKE?
Description of what mature, godly women ought to look like 2:3
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”
Contrast with what older women often looked like in his day:
Parallels “nasty old men” idea–crabby, angry men.
“Cranky old women:” irreverent, gossiping, drunks–only concerned about themselves!
Paul wants godly women to look different! 4 WAYS THEY’RE DIFFERENT:
1. Reverent in conduct (in the way they live)--
Like men, godly older women should be “appropriately respectful and reverent... so as to merit the respect of others”
Conduct which is appropriate in God’s house--not just “in church!”.
Clement of Alexandria: “Christians should live as if all of life was a sacred assembly”
Women should live, conscious that we are in God’s presence.
“Take your shoes off. You’re on holy ground!”
Instead of living like pagans--practical atheists—as if there were no God
—We should live as Christ lived, conscious we’re in the presence of a holy God.
2. Not gossips–speaking negatively of others.
Unfortunately, too many women have a reputation for talking about other people, in marketplace, at local Laundromat, or even in women’s meetings.
Women aren’t the only ones guilty of such talk!
But, it isn’t appropriate among God’s people, and doesn’t adorn our message.
James talks about the tongue as a small instrument with huge consequences.
Gossip is destructive.
It does opposite of what God’s people ought to do.
God’s people should be known for love for one another, for building each other up,
NOT for critical comments which tear others down.
Before “sharing” information about anyone, we should ask ourselves,
will this build someone up, or tear them down? How can I build this person up?
Have I invested my energy praying for them?
Am I really trying to build myself up, at their expense?
3. Not addicted --application fitting for all substance abuse!
Persistent drinking continues to be a problem today, even among Christians—women as well as men.
Alcoholism and drug addiction have increased more among women than men.
Younger women now equal men in alcohol and drug abuse.
Joseph Califano: “Women have come a long way, but in substance abuse and addiction, women have come the wrong way.” “The gender gap is gone.”
Results are even more tragic, in the home, and in society.
Symptoms are frequently more destructive for women than for men.
Women are characterized by depression. low self-esteem, and anxiety.
Among God’s people, this shouldn’t happen. But it does!
Instead of attracting people, that lifestyle distracts people and is an obstacle to those who might be attracted to the gospel.
“Am I still controlled by habits that were part of my old lifestyle?”
4. Teachers for younger women--By word and example
Hendricks asked boy in barber shop: “Hey, son, whom do you want to be like when you grow up?” The boy responded, “Mister, I ain’t found nobody I want to be like!”
Mature women ought to live a godly life, and then teach it.
Most significant ministry mature, godly women can have:
teaching others what God has taught them, through years of walking with Him.
Teaching young women how to live a godly life isn’t pastor’s job!!
Paul didn’t tell Titus to do this.
He’s to urge mature WOMEN to do it!
A woman who has walked with God and knows God’s ways from her own experience, can be a stimulus to younger women just starting out on path to godliness
With age and experience come wisdom that godly women, who have discovered secrets of godly living can share with younger women [and older men with young men!]
When hard times come, who is better to turn to than someone who has been there!
WHAT DO THESE GODLY MENTORS TEACH? --7 issues to deal with-- 2:4-5
“Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
1. Commitment to husband “to love their husband” => to be committed (devoted) to ...“
What they’re living for!—not money or pleasure, not self, but for their husband!
1st priority: commitment to husband– NOT SELF-fulfillment!
They can make that commitment even when husbands don’t deserve it (few do)
and when they don’t feel like it (all women feel that way, at times)!
2. Commitment to children Same expression repeated relative to children
Every young woman has times when she feels resentment about constant demands placed on her by her children.
Older women know the feeling. They’ve been there.
You can come alongside a struggling young mom,
and share with her how YOU survived those feelings and learned to cling to God’s love!
3. To be discerning (self-controlled, sensible) See from God’s perspective.
Central to whole passage–difficult to translate
“That they may make wise/discerning, the younger women, to be . . .
. . . enlighten the younger women, to be . . .
Train them like this (wisely), so they will become like this (wise)
Impart discernment (pass it on!), so they will BE discerning!
–“train them to think wisely”–discernment–so they will BE discerning.
Related to understanding God’s perspective on our role in life!
–How GOD values a young women’s role.
Young women struggle with their significance,
because they don’t see their role as GOD sees it!
4. To be pure—true to her husband in mind and heart, as well as in action.
Our culture isn’t just appealing to men with sexual temptation, but to women as well. Movies, magazines, music, and television, make marital unfaithfulness sound so romantic and appealing women are being drawn in by the bait also
Godly women need to know how to face that appeal and take God’s escape routes.
5. To invest her life in her home (busy at home)—in contrast to being "busy-bodies".
This passage doesn’t address issue of whether women should work.
It’s dealing with women who had nothing better to do than sit around talking about others. They are to keep busy doing what God has called them to do.
Dedicate energy to creating home environment pleasing to God.
Your most significant role: investing your life in your home —children and spouse.
That in no way excuses men of responsibility to lead family in godly living, but it recognizes special role God has given women of making a house into a home.
A home? Why do I need a home? I was born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile, and married in a church. I get my food at the delicatessen and restaurant. I spend my mornings at golf, my afternoons at the club, and my evenings dancing or at the movies. And when I die, I shall be buried from the undertaker's. Why do I need a home? All I need is a garage!
6. To show kindness to others—doing good deeds to help other people.
1 Tim. 5 describes appropriate conduct of widows: known for good deeds, such as, raising children, showing hospitality, washing feet of saints (serving others), and helping people in trouble.
7. To submit to her husband
Mature women teach young women what submission looks like.
This doesn’t make women inferior: nor are men authorized to be dictators, or abusive.
Christ was in every sense God--in no way inferior to the Father--yet He submitted to do His will. So God has established leadership in the home.
That authority is to be used in love and concern for the other person.
Mature godly women can teach younger women importance of a godly, submissive spirit in their attitude toward their husband--by showing them what it looks like and telling them how THEY have done it–especially when it’s HARD to do–or we don’t WANT to do it!
When older women function as God intends for them to, BOTH older AND younger women attract others to truth.
Godly women serve to
affirm the truth of God’s Word!
If older women fail, God’s Word is discredited by BOTH.
Vs. 5: “. . . so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Scriptural focus on how God intends godly women to function:
Mature godly women model what godliness looks like through their lifestyle.
Then they invest their life in other young women, who can pass it on to next generation.
As observers watch the women of the church go about life, as they examine a healthy lifestyle that is in agreement with healthy doctrine, through the behavior of godly young women, led by godly older women, the Word of God gains credibility!
What happens in home, as result of woman’s care, is a powerful tool for the spread of the gospel!
Counseling young women how to live isn’t MY job!
God assigned that job to mature Christian women.
One reason many women live confused, messed up lives is because mature godly women have abandoned their God-assigned responsibility.
Women come to their pastor because godly older women,
haven’t gone to them to teach them how a godly woman can live for God.
Our young women need MENTORS!
WHERE HAVE ALL THE MENTORS GONE?
We could blame it on our culture.
Women no longer hold neighborhood sewing gatherings, which once provided opportunity to dialogue and to pass on what our mothers taught us.
In fairness to present generation of older women, this process was cut off when a previous generation was told “No thanks!” by young women who wanted to do things their way.
Nevertheless, today women have no mentors, when they’re needed most.
Missionary returning from India was asked what India needs most: “GRANDMOTHERS!”
E.F. Brown adds: “Older women play an important part in society—how large a part one does not realize, till one witnesses a social life from which they are almost absent.
Our problem is captured in an anonymous poem called The Grandmother’s Poem:
“In the dim and distant past, When life’s tempo wasn’t fast,
Gramma used to rock and knit, Crochet and tat, and babysit.
Gramma now is at the gym, exercising to keep slim.
Now she’s golfing with the bunch,Taking clients out to lunch,
Going north to ski and curl, And all her days are in a whirl.
Nothing seems to stop or block her Now that Gramma’s off her rocker!”
We need to get Grandma back into her rocker.
I don’t mean sitting around knitting because there’s nothing better to do!
We need grandmothers who have time to give younger women who want to know how to live for God in a pagan society!
We need grandfathers in their rockers too! —not to loaf meaninglessly.
We need people who will give time to young men and women and show them how to live for God!
Some have resisted offering because we don’t think young people want a mentor.
That attitude was prevalent in 60s.
However, young adults today WANT someone who will love them, who accepts them as they are, and who will give themselves unconditionally to them.
HELP WANTED!
Godly mature women to help younger women learn how to . . .
* Live a godly life.
* Care for their husband and children.
* Care for their home in a godly way.
There’s a generation of mature women who have walked with God through the joys and trials of life,
who have developed a working knowledge of God’s Word they can share.
That’s the concern Paul is addressing. He urges older, mature women to invest their lives teaching younger women how to live for God—someone who has “been there and done that” to show them how to do it!
—To teach them what their personal life ought to look like.
—To teach them how to give themselves to their husband and to their kids.
—To teach them how to take care of their homes in a godly way.
Aubrey Malphurs: “Most churches . . . desperately need women . . . to shepherd other women.”
Howard Hendricks says every Christian needs three kinds of people:
a Barnabas, an older, mature person to guide them along the path they’ve walked before them;
a Paul, a peer, who will go with them and hold them accountable for their walk with God,
and a Timothy, someone to come along behind them that they can teach to follow the right path.
So do you!
You need a mature person you can look up to when you need encouragement by one who has “been there and done that.” —someone who knows the way and can show it to you
You need a peer, with whom you maintain intimate relationships,
you count on to hold you accountable for taking the next steps God is showing you in your life.
You need a “son or daughter in the faith” that you can teach what God has taught you.
God is raising up women with a vision for mentoring other women.
Tammy’s request to skip this!
If you’re a mature godly woman, you should be showing at least one other young woman, how she can follow God today. Share your life with her.
If you’re a young woman, you need to find an older woman you respect, corner her, ask her if she would be willing share her life with you, teaching you what she knows about walking with God.
Men, we need the same kind of relationships.
Man or woman, instead of thinking of our later years as a time to retire, to withdraw from life and take it easy–I can’t find that concept anywhere in Scripture!–How about making one of your goals to invest your life sharing what God has taught you about walking with Him, with a younger person.
Our women’s Alabaster Fellowship has worked on a women’s mentoring program.
Ben has worked with the men on developing a mentoring program
Ron Adams has worked with a mentoring program for our youth and youth leaders.
Rod has worked on a mentoring program for children’s leaders, and for worship leaders.
Men OR women, with or without a program, we need to make a commitment to mentoring—we don’t have to wait for a program to find someone younger we can spend time with, and invest your life in!
HELP WANTED!
What is God asking YOU to do?