LOOKING FOR LOVE
Gen. 29:16-30:1
Mothers’ Day is much like Valentine’s Day–it stirs romantic sentiments
–towards our mothers and towards our wives, the mother of our children.
Valentine's Day thought: "Love at first sight is easy to understand.
When two people have been looking at each other for years, it becomes a miracle."
I never did well in “Poetry Appreciation”.
I would have failed a course in poetic expression.
That has become one of our sources of family humor.
My all-time low in expressive reading came one night when I tried to recite a famous piece of romantic poetry by Elizabeth Barrett Browning to Helen.
It asks: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!”
I won't demonstrate how it went! BUT it didn’t go well!
When I consider Rachel’s life, I can't help but wonder,
how Jacob would’ve answered: "How do I love thee? . . . "
Genesis doesn't give much insight into Jacob's answer.
It merely tells us that he set his eyes on her and it was love at first sight.
What’s more clear (and tragic!) is how Rachel thought he would answer it.
Secular society in their day said a woman's value is based on child bearing.
Rachel and Leah had both fallen for that lie.
They bought into the popular culture of their day.
People of their day would respond: "How do I love thee? Let me count the kids!"
For them, a woman’s value was based on how many children she produced.
If she failed to produce a lot of kids, she was a failure.
It was a performance standard, based on something she couldn't control.
[Precisely the struggle Johnson and Christy endured in Bilaspur!]
This issue looms so large; it’s almost the only glimpse given of Rachel’s life.
The issue goes back to Adam and Eve–to the fall.
In Genesis 3, numerous changes take place as a result of the fall.
One of those changes you could almost overlook.
We seldom think of it as an effect of the fall.
There’s a name change in Genesis 3–it seems insignificant–but it’s NOT!
Prior to the fall, Adam gave her a name: Gen. 2:23
“She shall be called ‘woman’ (Ishah) for she was taken out of man (Ish).”
Her name pointed to her identification with man–that identified her.
Following the fall, her name is changed: Gen.3:20
She becomes “Eve” –now known for her role as MOTHER!
Ruth 4:11—Rachel and Leah are depicted as the source of the nation.
Children flowed from them (Value–sense of worth–based on child-bearing!)
Prosperity wish people pass on to Ruth:
that she become productive as these two, who gave birth to the nation.
Jer. 31:15 => Matt. 2:18 Only NT reference, Rachel’s role: "MOTHER" of Israel.
She laments the loss of her children.
Outside of Genesis, Scripture only remembers Rachel as "Mother of Israel"
Child-bearing becomes so central, you can’t think about Rachel without remembering it! It becomes her claim to fame!
Scripture doesn’t remember Sarah nor Rebekah that way!
Though they certainly qualify–especially Sarah!
JACOB'S INITIAL ENCOUNTER WITH RACHEL
TWO key FACTS about Jacob:
1. GOD leads Jacob to meet Rachel Genesis 29:1-12
God leads Jacob to the right place at the right time to meet Rachel.
—clear confirmation of God’s direction and blessing.
God is guiding Jacob’s steps!–specifically to her.
2.Jacob falls for Rachel the moment he lays eyes on her. 29:14-18
Only thing Laban has that Jacob really wants: Rachel!
Even in their initial encounter, we see his reaction to her.
The stone is large—They only remove it once.
They wait until everyone arrives, then cooperate to remove it
Jacob sees Rachel; he’s so excited he removes it singlehandedly!
He kisses her and cries with a loud voice.
He sees God's hand in all this and is excited.
3 OBSERVATIONS become apparent:
1. 29:16-17—RACHEL WAS BEAUTIFUL!
Leah has “Weak eyes” = common way to say Leah isn’t especially attractive.
She’s sort of plain and dull.
You could say, “her eyes just don’t have that ‘sparkle’!”
Jacob wants RACHEL from the very beginning.
There’s never any question which woman he’s attracted to!
2. 29:18, 20, 30—RACHEL WAS LOVED.
Rachel was loved by Jacob
Rachel always enjoyed her husband's love and loyalty
Jacob gladly worked 7 years for her, because he loved her. 29:20
Laban's treachery: exchanging unloved Leah, giving her to a man who’s in love with Rachel, . . .
Display of God’s justice: turn-about with younger and older daughters:
Jacob learns a lesson about deceit!
That doesn't make marital situation more tolerable for Leah or Rachel.
They’re all caught in a miserable marriage!
Jacob works 7 more years for the one he really loves: Rachel.
Leah's children do nothing to change that!
Rachel was loved by God!
3. YET, RACHEL DIDN'T FEEL LOVED.
Her sense of worth is based on performance.
She has to produce children to establish her worth (value) 30:1
Secular society's value system—value based on child-bearing
According to THEIR society, “That's what women are good for!”
Their competition shows how desperate each is to be loved.
29:31-35 Leah's consolation
God sees that she isn’t loved and gives her children as consolation.
It doesn’t say God gave her children as a means to win her husband!
Desire for love and acceptance is one of strongest drives we face.
Unrequited love, lack of recognition, or total disregard, is hard to endure.
Recourse: pursue love by any means, without regard for cost or long-term effects.
That competition is reflected in naming of Leah’s children:
Reuben = Sounds like the Lord “saw her misery" (means “see, a son.”)
Simeon = “God heard”
Levi = "Attached" (her husband would be attached to her)
Judah = Leah would be satisfied to "praise Yahweh”
Leah may have learned an important lesson:
With Levi she hoped to earn her husband's allegiance.
Now she seems content to let go of Jacob and cling to the Lord.
She will praise Him. Period.
30:1-2 Rachel's jealous response
SHE has his love and loyalty, yet SHE’S the one who gets jealous!
30:3-8, 9-13 Battle of the servant girls
Competition for love and worth continues in the naming of their servants’ children.
Rachel's children through Bilhah reflect the struggle and feeling of victory.
Dan = "God has vindicated me"
Naphtali = "I fought" with my sister.
30:22-24 Rachel's vindication (elevation)
But childbearing can't produce love. That strategy never works!
Love isn't produced by performance.
30:14-18 Look at how low things get:
Rachel sells her husband for a night, in exchange for some fruit
Leah enjoys rubbing it in! Anger and jealousy flows from the story.
God’s standard => one man/one woman => UNITED–made one flesh–FOREVER
When you break that standard, the results are painful
If anyone ever had a justifiable excuse for having two wives, it’s Jacob.
But that doesn’t change the pain in their home!
Mistakes in marriage do that! That’s the way divorce works too!
You may have an excellent reason, but it won’t make the pain go away.
Jesus points to this; disciples respond, “Then it’s better not to get married at all!”
There’s a moral to this part of the story: Be sure to choose well!
Choose a godly mate! Choose a mate who is pursuing godly goals!
Don’t gamble with this choice!
Mistakes in choosing a partner produce painful consequences!
LESSONS TO BE LEARNED FROM RACHEL’S STORY
Rachel is the loved wife, though she never really feels loved.
God looks after Leah, the unloved one.
She’s the neglected one. But God is her consolation.
Ultimately, Leah's children form the royal and priestly lines.
In painful, unbearable homelife, God watches Leah and meets her needs.
Jacob doesn't meet her needs. GOD meets her needs!
Polling organization conducted survey to determine what people are looking for; Results surprised analysts: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, first 3 in list of fruit of Spirit.
People are looking for love.
Problem: they aren't having much luck finding it.
Common denominator in marriage counseling: People don't FEEL loved!
The philosophy of secular society is wrong!
Performance can't earn love, security, or significance!
Same philosophy is still around!
It isn't based on child bearing, though some try, when their marriage is falling apart.
It still won't produce love!
We still look for love, security, and significance, on the basis of performance.
Love, security, and significance don't come from performance—from being good enough (whether it’s good at having children, or anything else we do).
They come from the One who loves us completely—without conditions!
We don’t have to EARN His love.
In fact, we CAN’T earn His love!
He loves us because He has chosen to love us
We ENJOY love when we understand God DOES love us—totally!
Just the way we are!
We’re looking at God's people here—Godly people.
This family is included in the list of superheroes of faith!
These godly women, wives of one of the most godly men to ever walk on planet earth, are crying out to be loved.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
It doesn't matter how ideal our spouse may be,
they’ll never satisfy need to be loved, secure, and significant!
Jacob couldn't meet that need for Leah, NOR even for Rachel.
Only God can fully satisfy our need for love! (Satisfy that thirst)
Whether you’re the wife or the husband, if you’re looking to your spouse to make you feel loved, you’re looking in the wrong place. It won't happen!
Motivated by the concept that if we just perform well enough we’ll be loved, secure, and significant, we try to be good enough at something to earn love.
It doesn't work! It didn't work for Leah!It didn't work for Rachel!
It won't work for US either, whether your name is George or Cheryl.
We will never perform well enough to earn our spouse’s love!
Love is a choice. God has chosen to love us.
We can choose to enjoy that love, and share His love with others.
Where do WE turn for love, security, and significance?
Are WE looking to the wrong source?
What kinds of things do WE cling to, to establish OUR value—our sense of worth—to get someone to love us?
Teenagers in back seat of car feel pressure to surrender personal values, to GET love—but it doesn’t work—it doesn’t earn LOVE! In fact, you LOSE respect!
Adults too, feel pressure to surrender values to be accepted by those around us!
But it doesn’t work! Nothing we DO will ever make ANYbody love us.
Love is a choice!
GOD has already chosen to love us, with NO strings attached.
Why does He love us?
He loves us because He loves us!
We can rest secure in HIS love for us.
We don’t have to pursue it, seeking somebody who loves us!
God has already demonstrated His love–it’s unconditional!
We’ll never earn nor deserve it–yet He has given it to us –because of His grace!
God just wants us to believe it, and enjoy His love.
It doesn’t matter if our spouse doesn’t love us as he/she should.
It doesn’t matter if our children don’t appreciates us.
What really matters is that GOD loves us!
BELIEVE IT!–ENJOY IT!