A WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER
31:10-31
MOTHERS DAY
A delightful day–opportunity to express love and appreciation to our wife and our mothers for all they have meant to us.
A frightening day–
For preachers–opportunity to say the wrong thing; or NOT say the right thing.
For spouses or children–opportunity to fail to react appropriately.
Notice I didn’t announce the passage.
Every time I mention the passage I get an “Ugh!” response.
Helen indicated she didn’t recall that I’ve ever preached from this passage before.
I can’t believe that I haven’t; but I can’t find any evidence of it!
Actually I was ASKED to preach from this passage.
Particularly because it has been given a bum rap!
It’s a depression-inducer!
Who can live up to it?!!
Proverbs 31 –an acrostic poem, exalting a great wife.
22 verses–one line of two parts for each letter.
It’s written with the intention of being a poetic, creative salute to the ideal woman!
She is presented as an ideal standard–NOT a model for every woman to live up to!
No real living woman lives up to all this! NO ONE!!
"Who can find one?"
The description of the virtuous woman, pictures a woman who is industrious, trustworthy, and dedicated to her family.
Such a woman merits the praise of her entire family.
It isn’t the purpose of this passage to propose that any woman ought to be able to do ALL these things.
It wasn’t written to send you on a guilt trip because you can’t DO all this!
The woman described is highly unusual.
In fact, the passage implies that you’re never going to find a woman like this.
But it IS a summary description of what this kind of woman would look like!
It’s not the kind of woman the world depicts as the ideal woman!
Not a word about physical beauty or attractiveness.
Not a word about her activity in the bedroom!
BUT, it’s not the kind of woman most Christians depict as the ideal woman either!
Swindoll introduces this passage with a touch of realism:
Without taking away from the joys, rewards, and those extra-special moments of motherhood,
the daily tasks of that assignment can be grinding!
Washing mounds of laundry, ironing; folding; cleaning; shopping; cooking; car pooling; being a referee, a coach, an encourager, a counselor, a cop; staying pretty; remaining tactful, lovable, compassionate, cheerful, responsible, balanced, and sane (!)--
All have a way of making today’s mothers feel strung out and spent.
And it is all so daily . . . so relentlessly repetitive.
There is so much to know as well as to learn about this matter of being a good mother.
It doesn’t simply “just happen” once you have a child.
It’s as absurd to think that giving birth automatically makes you a good mother as it it to think that having a piano automatically makes you a good musician.
There’s an enormous amount of work to it, more than most will ever realize . . .
(certainly more than most husbands will ever realize, right?)
In this description you sense God’s affirming respect, as this woman is introduced as “an excellent wife.”
THE IDEAL WOMAN
HER CHARACTER 10
She is “a woman of noble character”
A “fine wife”–used in different contexts: strength, wealth, ability
Ruth is called that kind of woman (3:11).
When she presents herself to Boaz.
His compliment to her: “Everyone in town knows about her
–she is “a woman of noble character.”
Such a woman is RARE!–more valuable than precious stones.
She’s hard to find; but when you find her, she’s a real treasure!
HER HUSBAND’S CONFIDENCE 11a
He has total confidence in her–she is trustworthy!
HER HUSBAND’S BENEFIT 11b-12
Her family (and her husband) is enriched (lit.) by her.
She is an asset; NOT a liability!
Most husbands would be threatened by this kind of woman.
He isn’t–because she has his TRUST!
HER ACTIVITIES 13-24
She is one BUSY woman! –This is the ideal!
Not exactly the image we think of when we think of the godly, biblical woman.
The ideal woman isn’t the humble little homemaker who sits at home with nothing to do.
She isn’t the woman who the husband keeps “barefoot and pregnant” all the time.
Incredible potential for development!
She has unusual gifts and material resources.
She has formidable powers and great achievements.
The specifics aren’t all that significant.
She is industrious–she has plenty to keep her busy
She works with “eager” hands (willingly) 13b
She enjoys her work!
In contrast to the normal picture of a home with servants, she gets up to serve the servants. 15
In a servant-filled home–they would serve HER!
She has the heart of a servant–even with servants in the house!
She doesn’t let her position get in the way of her attitude!
She invests what she has to enhance the family fortune 16
She sets about her work “vigorously” 17a She works hard!
She doesn’t need to be told what to do.
Her husband isn’t afraid of what she might be up to when his back is turned!
He doesn’t have to keep her under control.
He can trust her to handle the responsibilities she has assumed.
She is generous to help the poor 20
She protects and lavishly provides for her family’s needs 21-22
This IS NOT just a minimal commitment to do what’s expected!
It seems evident that her husband is respected among the leaders of their town because of her reputation in town. 23
Though she’s aggressive and successful, her conduct and attitude earn him respect.
She doesn’t undermine his leadership and authority!
HER GODLY CHARACTER 25-28
She has the marks of a godly woman 25-28
She has strength of character 25a
It’s not her clothing that attracts your attention–not the way she dresses!
It’s her strength of character!
She acts with appropriate dignity 25b
She isn’t fearful about the future 25c Confident about the future!
She’s able to look ahead, and face the future with confidence.
She speaks with wisdom 26a
She gives godly instruction 26b
She oversees what’s going on at home 27a
Being a good “keeper at home” apparently doesn’t contradict being involved in business away from home!
She isn’t lazy 27b
For some of you women who are looking at this woman and saying, “How in the world could she do all that?
No one could accomplish all that and raise a family!”
Notice she has her own servants! –that was normal in their culture!
God probably hasn’t called you to the same lifestyle!
That isn’t the point of the passage!
The point of the passage:
a godly, industrious, trustworthy woman, is a gift from God!
HER REWARD 28-31
She is praised by her children 28a
She is praised by her husband 28b-29
Both acknowledge her worth
Notice the affirmation she receives from her husband.
He isn’t afraid of her–he is secure.
He isn’t just willing to let her “stretch her wings;” he affirms it. He praises her!
One of the reasons this woman is confident and successful is her husband’s encouragement!
They aren’t fighting over control issues!
HE ENCOURAGES HER TO BE ALL THAT GOD WANTS HER TO BE!
She is worthy of praise 30-31
Charm can be a false front–it’s deceptive
Beauty is temporary–it never lasts.
Here today; gone tomorrow!
But a godly woman deserves praise.
Godliness lasts–it’s the internal beauty of spirit that lasts forever!
So what do we learn from the example of this godly woman of noble character?
NOT to go into a depression or a guilt trip because you can’t do it all!
Themes brought up in this passage are the same traits that are praised for men and women alike throughout Proverbs.
Wisdom leads to godly living.
That’s the kind of life that brings honor to a godly woman.
Character is more important than performance!
Maximize the use of the resources God has given you to serve others,
=> and your spouse and your children will rise up and call you blessed! (They’ll praise you!)
The only way you’ll ever become this kind of woman is if God makes you one!
This kind of change comes from the inside out!
That’s the only way a man will ever become the kind of person God wants us to be is by the work of God in our lives also.
None of us will ever become this kind of person by our own efforts!
Young people, when you make your list of traits to look for in a spouse,
Focus on traits like these,
–NOT the kind that pass away with age!