FORGIVENESS AND COMMITMENT
Matthew 18-19
Opposites attract!
Opposites frustrate!
Work for oneness
Don’t expect sameness
Allow your spouse to be who God made him/her to be!
Don’t try to make them over into your image!
Don’t try to change them!
Forgive the difference.
HOW MANY TIMES?!!
Have you ever felt sorry for poor Peter?
It seems like he is always being criticized for something!
What's sad about it is he's usually on the right track--and far ahead of the rest. Nevertheless, Peter usually comes up short.
As we look in on him in this story, Peter's feeling pretty good about himself. As usual he has the right idea.
The Lord has just been talking to His disciples about the opposition which was being stirred up against Him. (13:53-18:35)
After describing that opposition (13:53-16:13), He presents implications for disciples (16:13-18:35).
He is going to be crucified and they are going to be the objects of continual attack--even though they are innocent.
The attack will become so intense that even their own brethren in Christ will turn on them.
Jesus tells them how to deal with those who mistreat them (18:15-20).
-In summary, they should be dealt with in love--to correct them.
-Vengeance is not to be sought.
-Only when all other alternatives have been exhausted should discipline be imposed.
He instructs them concerning their own attitude toward the offender 18:21-35
While the improper actions of the offender must be dealt with, the one who has been offended is also responsible for his own attitudes.
He is to forgive the offender, no matter how seriously he has been hurt.
It's at this point that Peter--just about like us--breaks into the story.
It is obvious that the Lord wants a more forgiving attitude than most of us are willing to show. BUT--just how far is this attitude to be carried?
THE QUESTION 18:21
Peter's suggestion is generous.
Most of us would have given him an "A". He had the right idea.
Jewish custom: to forgive twice, but the third time--let him have it!
It was about like our attitude today: three strikes you're out!
Donkey story
Peter was willing to go the 2nd mile--far beyond most of us--He would forgive them seven times.
THE ANSWER 18:22
Jesus responds that his followers should forgive those who offend them
-NOT seven times
-BUT seventy-seven times (NIV) (or seventy times seven) (NAS & KJV)
Some people consider this a prophecy of the computer age
-We used to try to count the offenses (JOHN SMYSER) #123? Or, #124?
-Now we can make a data base to keep track #338
There are two problems with that interpretation:
-If you're keeping a list, you haven't really forgiven.
-Illustration demonstrates that we should forgive according to the greatness of God's forgiveness
THE ILLUSTRATION 18:23-34
The merciful king forgives a servant 18:23-27
The estimated value of these debts varies greatly, depending on how you calculate each step.
Estimates of first servant's debt begin at $80 million and go as high as around $2 billion.
It’s more than the servant could ever repay.
Yet the king forgives him because he is merciful towards him.
The forgiven servant refuses to forgive 18:28-30
The first servant has a fellow servant who owes him a small amount.
It is about 1/600,000 of what his debt had been.
If the first debt were $80 million, the second servant would owe him about $130.
Yet he was not willing to forgive the one who owed it to him.
The merciful king expects a forgiving response 18:31-33
When the merciful king hears what his servant has done, he becomes furious and takes action against him.
He turns him over to the jailors who will take charge of tormenting him continually until he pays back all his own debt.
PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN MUCH
OUGHT TO FORGIVE OTHERS ALSO
How much has God forgiven US?
How much should we forgive others?
THE WARNING 18:35
Now the Lord leaves the illustration and turns back to His followers with this warning: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat you unless you forgive your brother from all your heart."
WHY SHOULD WE FORGIVE [OTHERS] OUR SPOUSE?
Probably many people we ought to forgive!
If we can forgive pagan neighbors, . . .
If we can “love our enemies,”. . .
We certainly ought to be able to forgive our husband or wife!
It’s NEVER because they deserve it!
We may forgive for a spiritual reason 18:32-33
We forgive others because God has first forgiven us
We will never forgive anyone more than he has forgiven us.
We may forgive for a selfish reason 18:34-35
We forgive others for our own good
To avoid the "torturers" -- Here the use is literal
Cp. Matt. 8:29 --the same root word is used.
The demons wanted to know if Christ had come to torture them before the proper time.
2 Pet. 2:8 --Lot was tormented by the lawless deeds he saw going on around him.
If we refuse to forgive those who have offended us, God will turn us over to the "torturers."
I am convinced that these "torturers" describe the afflictions of body and mind that we suffer when we refuse to forgive others:
Not hungry Can't sleep Feeling bad Feeling sad Illness
. . . and we often don't know why.
In Happiness Is a Choice, Meier & Minirth mention the case of a college student who suffered three years of depression and couldn't figure out why.
He felt bad, couldn't sleep, wasn't hungry, but couldn't figure out what was wrong.
Finally he went for help. After considerable time had passed, the couselor asked him if there was someone he was angry with. At first he was startled by the question, then he responded that there had been a teacher in college, who three years before had accused him falsely of cheating in front of fellow students.
He would NEVER forgive that teacher; she didn't deserve it! The counselor responded in gentle fun: "You're really punishing her, aren't you! You're going through three years of depression to get vengeance on her. Is it worth it? Do you think she even remembers who you are?"
After claiming Christ's forgiveness and power to forgive others, he managed to forgive her and in a matter of weeks, he got over his depression. He conquered the "torturer".
We, too, need to forgive those who have offended us, FOR OUR OWN SAKE; to escape the "torturers".
Proper attitude summarized by Paul in Eph. 4:32:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you.”
CENTRALITY OF COMMITMENT Matt. 19:1-12
Forgiveness flows from commitment
Looking for an easy way out 19:3
Motive behind many divorces
Will any little offense do? How big does it have to be?
Divorce is easier than forgiveness and commitment!
Unless you’re committed to permanence, no marriage will ever endure the affliction!
God’s original design 19:4-6
Marriage is a permanent union!
Hiding behind a technicality 19:7
“God commanded it!”
Actually, God permitted the divorce, but commanded the process!
God’s original design 19:8
Divorce is produced by hard hearts.
Divorce interrupts the original plan.
TWO LOGICAL ALTERNATIVES 19:9-12
* Celibacy
* Permanent commitment
If marriage is your choice,
Commitment is the key to success!