Ralph Porter

© 2003

    Mothers' Day messages come in two major shapes and sizes. Some Mothers' Day messages celebrate motherhood and make everybody feel warm and fuzzy. Mothers are wonderful and their role in shaping young lives is significant for the future of our society!

    Other Mothers' Day messages don't make us feel that way! They speak to moms. They challenge us. But they don't make us feel warm and fuzzy. This second type of Mothers' Day message isn't the kind you preach when you want to win friends and influence people! It's not the kind you preach when you want to go home and have your wife (or your daughter) appreciate you! But they do teach us something important we all need to learn about being the kind of people God wants us to be!

    When I first started our series of vignettes in the lives of the heroes of the faith, I named that series "Walking with the Saints." I could have chosen a different title: "People like Us."

    When we study the heroes carefully, our idealistic stereotypes of godly people are eventually shattered! You just don't find any perfect saints! Not then; not now! They are godly and they are saints, but not because they have somehow reached perfection. They are human, just like us! They commit serious mistakes! There are no ideal Christians! No perfect Christian homes!

    Rebekah is that kind of person. She was committed to pleasing God. But she was very much like us. Rebekah was human!

REBEKAH'S FAITH

    A careful consideration of Rebekah's life reveals five demonstrations of her faith. The first of these demonstrations is evident from the fact that Rebekah met Abraham's requirements for a wife for Isaac, his son. Abraham didn't want his son to marry a pagan-a Canaanite-but someone who would worship the same God and share his values!

    Abraham wanted his son to marry someone who loves God (24:3)! We don't know how Abraham's family came to trust Yahweh, but his father and his brother, Nahor, Rebekah's grandfather, did follow Yahweh (Gen. 31:53).

    Abraham wanted to be sure that his son's wife followed the same God, rather than the pagan gods of the Canaanites in their neighborhood. Beautiful, young women abounded. But that wasn't enough! History is filled with beautiful women who didn't love God, that enticed godly men to leave their God and chase them. Abraham wouldn't take a chance on that happening to his son! Isaac's wife had to be committed to the God of their fathers. Rebekah met Abraham's requirement.

    The second evidence of Rebekah’s faith is that both Rebekah and Isaac were convinced that God was leading them to marry (4:44, 49-51). This was more than the servant expected. He left the door open to get out of his obligation, in case she wasn’t willing to come back with him (24:5, 8).

    Her gracious attitude demonstrated there was something unique about her. She was a godly woman, marked by the desire to serve other people (24:42-48). As he observed her behavior, the servant became convinced that she was the one God had chosen for Isaac. Only after all the other evidence fell into place, did he discover that she was a relative of Abraham (24:47-48).    

    Eventually everyone was impressed with the way the evidence pointed to Rebekah as God's choice for Isaac. She was sufficiently convinced that she was willing to go with the servant, to marry a man she had never met (24:58). The evidence was clear: she was God’s choice for Isaac! Everyone knew it!

    The third evidence of Rebekah's faith was that when she didn't understand what was happening to her, she asked God (25:21-23; James 1:5). Something wasn't right about this pregnancy! So Rebekah went to God for an answer, and He answered her!

    The fourth demonstrations of Rebekah's faith was that Rebekah was committed to follow God's plan (25:23). God told her that Jacob would be the blessed son. She understood God's plan, and tried to help make it happen.

    The last evidence of Rebekah's faith in Yahweh was seen when Rebekah grieved, together with Isaac, over Esau's marriage to pagan women (26:34-35). She understood that this wasn't God's plan for marriage. These women would pull Esau away from a whole-hearted commitment to follow God. And so, together they grieved!

    Rebekah was one remarkable woman! She loved God and wanted to please Him. She had it all. She was beautiful (26:7). She was rich. She had a right relationship with the God of the universe. She had a great husband who loved her. She had two healthy, handsome boys. What more could she want? And yet, although Rebekah was committed to following God, something was wrong with her life--something was missing.

    How did such a wonderful, godly woman fail to fulfill her dream? Isaac is depicted as a passive husband. He is certainly depicted as passive in the biblical account. Abraham and Jacob are more prominent individuals, perhaps because they had more significant roles in the story the writer wanted to tell. However, it may not be fair to stereotype Isaac's whole life on the basis of this story. From his role in the story, we see a godly mother's response to a passive father who doesn't accept spiritual leadership in the home.

    Rebekah makes three big mistakes which are frequently imitated by other godly women. First, Rebekah began to undermine her husband's authority (27:5-10). She began to work against her husband to get what she thought was right. Her behavior included spying on his conversation with his son and working behind Isaac's back to undermine his plan.

    Rebekah's second big mistake was that she taught her children that it's alright to scheme and manipulate people for a good cause (27:11-17). She encouraged her son to deceive his father. She conspired with him to cheat his brother: cooking the food; making skins, and so on.

    This was a "family thing." In some ways it reminds me of Helen's family. There are certain things about Helen's family that mark the whole line. Most people who know the family well can spot a physical resemblance in the family tree. You can also spot a social resemblance. Our kids call it the "Z" Chromosome. "Z" stands for Zella, Helen's mom. She was a great talker-and the whole family has similar behavior. It creates an iteresting dynamic whenever three or four of her sisters, aunts, or kids get together. Actually it didn't start with Zella. It's in her sisters' genes too!

    In Rebekah's family there was an "R" chromosome! It infected the whole family: Laban, Rebekah, and Jacob. Jacob is even named for it. His name is "the deceiver," "the tricky (sly) one." But they all have it! He bears the name, but they all bear the shame--they go down in history as "the deceivers." Rebekah taught her kids that it's alright to scheme and deceive, if it's for a good cause.

    Thinking about Rebekah's behavior in this incident has reminded me of one of my students at the Seminary in Guatemala. Elsa was an ideal student. She was exceptionally bright and had a genuine desire to walk with God and obey Him. Five of her siblings studied at our seminary over the years. One day she told me her story. When she was a child, her mother came to know Christ. She taught her children from the Bible every day. However, her husband didn't want to trust Christ. As the children grew up, their mother would tell them, "Don't pay any attention to your father, he's an unbeliever!" Is it any wonder that he became bitter and resisted their desire to serve the Lord? How do you suppose Isaac felt about Rebekah's scheme?

    Rebekah's third mistake was that like many wives, she schemed and manipulated to get her husband to do what she thought was right-what she wanted (27:42-28:1)! Her personal behavior was consistent with what she was teaching her kids to do.

    A footnote to husbands is appropriate here also: Don't put your wife in that place! She acted the way she did because she knew that Isaac wasn't leading his family in the way God wanted them to go. This doesn't justify her strategy; that's her problem. But we are often guilty of pushing them into that corner!

    We ought to establish a reputation in our home for doing what God wants! We should also establish the pattern of talking to our wife. Err on the side of giving, rather than insisting on having our way. Even God is known as "the giving God!" He's in charge! He has the last word. But James calls Him: "the giving God!" We can be in charge, and still be known for giving-for paying attention to what our wife wants and giving. Err on the side of giving!

    I'll never forget the shock I received when I woke up and realized that for twenty-seven years I had been living for myself and walking all over my wife! I thought we had the perfect marriage. It seemed great-since I was perfectly content to have things my way. Then I realized what I was doing to Helen. Isaac's determination to have what he wanted was destroying their marriage and their family. It was time for him to wake up! This just wasn't the right way to do it!

    Rebekah thought she had to help God out! God had said how it was going to be. She was in agreement with God's plan. However, God could have accomplished His plan a better way, had she not decided that she had to help him out. God does accomplish His purpose by means of what we do--not in spite of it! Because she insisted on doing it her way, she had to learn some hard lessons and pay a price.

    Rebekah had to live with the consequences of her actions. She had to send Jacob away. She lived with the fear that Esau would kill him--and he would have--but God had a better plan. God promised to protect him. Again she schemed with her own way to protect Jacob from Esau.

    Have we ever done that? How do we sometimes commit that error? We get the idea that God can't handle things Himself. We have to make things happen! We have to help Him out! If it's not working the way we think it should, we jump in to help God out! "If we don't help Him, God might lose!" we think.

    As a boy growing up, I always enjoyed Phil Kerr's choruses. One of his choruses that I've loved for years, recalls our human way of thinking:

            If the dreams that I dream would come true, . . .

            If the schemes that I scheme I could do, . . .

            Then it seems there would be contentment for me,

            But I know that He knows what's best for me.

             So I''m His to command, where He leads me.

    That was Sarah's struggle. She had her own dreams. She was scheming her own schemes. It seemed that they would bring contentment--but it all blew up in her face! If she had let God have His way--given herself over, for Him to do things His way-she wouldn't have had to go through all the pain!

    That's just as true today as it was in Rebekah's day! We sometimes fall into the same trap, don't we? We get the idea that God can't handle things for Himself. We have to help Him out!

    Any of us who can identify with Rebekah this morning? We love God alright. We're just not sure we can trust Him with our lives and our situation. We're not sure He can pull it off without us!

    Now, here's the critical question: "Did it work? Did it get what she wanted?" How did Rebekah's plan work out in the end? How do our plans work out when we come up with our own schemes to "help God out?" Does it end up looking like James describes it in James 4:1-3? Do we go through all that hassle, and still not get what we want?

    There are some important practical lessons for us to learn from Rebekah's story:

             Isaac's failure to follow God's plan

                drove Rebekah to follow her scheme.

             Rebekah's failure to trust God to fulfill His plan

                led to her scheme-which ultimately destroyed her dream!

            If WE would trust God and follow His plan,

                we'd avoid many disastrous results that our schemes bring on us!

    If we decide that we have to help God out, we can expect similar results to those Rebekah received. Is that what we want for our lives? For our families? For our children? When are we going to stop trying to scheme to work it all out for ourselves?

    Are we ready to tell God,

        "I'm Yours to command, wherever, however YOU may lead me?

        You're in charge; I will follow YOU!"